Here is a list of mistakes families often make when caregiving for a family member with dementia:
- Doing too much for them: Overhelping leads to a loss of independence and dignity. It’s important to encourage them to do what they can for themselves. Make a list of modified activities they can do with a caregiver. Give them two choices instead of yes/no options. For example, “Would you rather have eggs (show the item or photo, then pause) or oatmeal (pause)?” Allow extra time for them to respond.
- Trying to reason: Dementia affects reasoning ability. Logical arguments or detailed explanations cause frustration and confusion. Do not correct them. Arguing about facts or trying to set them straight leads to unnecessary frustration. It’s better to go along with their reality rather than insist on what’s “true.” As hired caregivers it is easier for us, we will admit that we don’t know the real story. So we agree with their “new” story and play along with a listening ear. We write down the stories and look for more details each time we hear them.
- Over-explaining: Offering too much information overwhelms them. Simple and direct communication is more effective. Stay in the moment, focusing only on today and the present situation. When in doubt—write it out.
- Not meeting them where they are: Family members often expect the person with dementia to function as they used to instead of adapting to their current abilities and needs. Care teams meet loved ones where they are today, focusing on their current impairments and capabilities. Setting realistic expectations allows caregivers to focus on what they can do, not what they can no longer do.
- Being afraid to hug or touch them: Physical contact provides powerful comfort. Don’t hesitate to hold their hand or give them a big “hello” hug. Focus on big hellos and avoid goodbyes.
- Assuming behaviors instead of taking time to discover unmet needs: Some common unmet needs that trigger sundowning and agitation include pain, boredom, needing the restroom, exhaustion, thirst, hunger, or environmental factors like lighting or noise. Take time to uncover and address these needs.
- Ignoring safety issues: Proactively address home safety before a fall happens. Remove hazards like rugs, add grab bars, install cameras, and provide wearables such as watches with GPS tracking or keychain object finders. Simplifying the space reduces distractions and improves daily functioning.
- Overstimulating them: Exposing them to too much noise, activity, or complicated environments causes anxiety or confusion. They need to remain in their forever home with familiar surroundings. Bring small gatherings to them instead of taking them to parties.
- Ignoring their life history: Forgetting the person’s past interests, likes, and dislikes leads to disconnected care. Tailor activities to their history for more meaningful engagement. Bring out photo albums and life journals to share memories from 20, 30, or 40 years ago, rather than focusing on the last decade.
- Relying too much on memory tests: Constantly testing their memory, such as asking if they remember certain things, causes stress and agitation. Stop “testing” them—it’s neither helpful nor kind.
The Biggest Mistake: Doing It Alone
The biggest mistake family members make when caring for loved ones is trying to do it alone. Family caregivers and spouses will experience burnout if they don’t take time for themselves. It’s essential to hire help and build a care team. As the disease progresses, it’s important to prepare for future needs by working with a care manager to create a care plan for everyone involved, including pets.
Start small by adding a little help for a few hours a day, similar to independent living at home. As needs increase, add more care through assisted living support at home, memory care at home, and eventually, if needed, long-term care brought home with around-the-clock support to help them stay in their forever home. This ensures that the continuum of care is brought home at the right time, in the right amounts, saving you money and keeping you home.
By avoiding these common mistakes, we can provide a more compassionate and effective caregiving experience, allow families to focus on what matters most and ensure loved ones with dementia enjoy a better quality of life.
If your loved one is in need of in-home memory care in Lincoln, NE, please contact Home Care Partners today at (402) 780-1211.
If your loved one’s wish is to continue living in their forever home, we can make that possible. Reach out to us today our Care Consults are FREE 402-780-1211.
Home Care Partners is a top provider of care management services in Lincoln, NE and Lancaster County. We Bring Assisted Living Home.
Our Caregiving team provides personal one-on-one attention for your loved one. When you are ready to begin your care journey, we are the experts that will answer your questions and help you implement a plan.
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